I'ts all in your response. - How to speak "Mommy"

Hi Ladies and also Gentlemen!

How are you? I hope all is well with each of you. 

Does anyone have an issue with screaming at your kids?  I do! Sometimes I catch myself screaming at my child in a level that I find draining for me and unresponsive to her. The response I get from my daughter is a blank stare! She freezes. She does not know what to do when I am screaming at her to do something. I usually begin to scream when I am frustrated, not necessarily at her, but at the situation.

 So I begin to ask myself..why am I screaming? I don't usually scream at adults during my day, so why is it so easy for me to scream at my child? 

It's Simple, she will not scream back at me! 

It's all a about how I am  communicating with my child, or maybe how I am NOT communicating with her at a level that she can comprehend.  Most of the people I speak to daily are adults, therefor that is what I am used to ..that is the only language I speak "Adult" lol.. But now, I have to learn to speak "Mommy" .

Wait, you mean to tell me that there is  a "Mommy Language"!? Wow, 

 So, How do I begin to speak "Mommy!?" First thing , Be yourself!

 is to speak to them just like you would speak to a friend you love. ( Not to say that you should be speaking about a private matter with your child that you would with your friend. There is a difference between adult conversation and conversation that is more suitable for children) ( Remember the term " stay out of grown folk business" It's almost the same, you want to make sure you filter what is going into a child's ears) But Being  yourself around your child is the best thing you can do. Be 100% YOU!

A better you makes a better parent!

Soul Assignment: 

Do you tend to yell at your child? 

If not, please share if you have any challenges in parenthood

What is your response to those challenges?

If you do yell, What is usually the challenge? 

Can you identify all the emotions you are feeling in your response?

My answer:  I am learning that I do not like to repeat  a task that I already completed. Such as cleaning! Nothing is more frustrating to me than walking in your home after a long day at work, to a pile of laundry still not done, and toys all over the place. I mean who likes a mess? So in my head, I want to get to cleaning, however, my daughter wants to come home and climb on the couches, turn on the TV super loud. Usually wants to pull out even more toys onto the floor and run around the house with them. I am literally putting toys away and she is putting them back onto the floor. My response, I yell or break down!

Another one, I concentrate and work in a zone. If someone needs something from me while I am working..It makes me angry. I do not like to be interrupted! 

My emotions during those times  are Anger and Frustration, I ultimately feel like I am failing. 

I am a natural over achiever, so when an over achiever is faced with failure. That is literally the opposite of who they are. It can be a big  challenge! 

So, What do you do? 

"Revisit your definition of failure and success" - More to come! 

Love you always,

Arielle Wright :)

What Stage Are You In?

Hello All, 

Being a young mom or dad is a lot of work! Lot's things going on with your life, and also trying to be the best parent you can be to your little one's life as well.  

As mentioned in a previous post, my biggest struggle is bonding with my child. I am an over thinker for sure, and maybe I actually do enough bonding and I am simply being overly dramatic. However because of my struggle I began to give myself the benefit of the doubt and question my issues with bonding. I came up with an analysis that like ourselves, children change over time. Childhood development grows at constant speed. A child goes through the stages of a baby, toddler, preschooler and a big kid. During this time a lot is going on with them, and a lot is going on with us. 

Like a lot of people I tend to have a hard time with transitions. (In the terms that I am really focused on something) I found myself mastering what it was like to be a mother of an infant. I got use to the requirements, my baby sleeps at this time, she eats at this time, and I change her at this time. I struggled at first, but mastered the routine. Once I mastered the routine, out came the toddler years, wooh! What a change. Not only in my baby, but in myself! I am no longer a mother of a baby, I am now a mother of a toddler, and who am I now? I am confronted with things that require me to grow as a person. Such as chasing after a toddler, making sure they are not eating something totally inappropriate, planning activities, reacting to tantrums...list goes on. I don't want to ramble but it does go to show you that your children are not going to stay the same. They are growing! And so are you. My encouragement to you, is enjoy the process, embrace the moment. Take a second and reflect on yourself. It is okay if you are not sure what to do. We can learn together and help each other through things. The point of from one young mom to another is to embrace each other in the utmost support! You are not alone! 

Soul Assignment: 

What stage are your child currently in? 

How is it different from the previous stage? 

How are you adjusting?
What do you find the most challenging at this point? 

Love you as always!

-Arielle :)